“ I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. ”
Friedrich Nietzsche (via holyromanhomo)
the cops are already on their way to your house you sick little fuck.
urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions
“ If you gave me a chance I would take it. ”
Bring that sweet ass over here.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this
stupidest/most awesome joke ever